Rochelle M Cunningham

I am a procrastinator ... but I am realizing that my procrastination is not pure laziness (a misconception that the world holds on most procrastinator) but I struggle with my ADHD, control issues and the notion of perfection. It is because of these things that I find myself struggling inwardly... a battle of my mind that halts productivity because of the sheer idea that I shouldn't do the thing that I want to because: a) I'm not good at it (yet) b) I don't know enough about ______ (yet) c) I don't have enough time..."I should do blank, blank and blank first...then I will have enough time". d) I've failed too many times to even try anymore of it . Well, I can tell you that this mindset is something that I have struggled with for my entire adult life...and a lot of my childhood. I can not pinpoint the age or time that I realized that I was doing these things, but I know that it has been a running theme for most of my life. Knowing this, I also realize that f...

Mornings are getting harder for me. Maybe it's the fact that it's fall and the mornings are getting darker earlier, or that we are almost in month nine of the pandemic...but sleep is something that by the end of the day is not only welcomed but is coveted when the alarm clock that I set the night before goes off. Thankfully I am a creature of some sorts of habits, and one of them is the fact that I cherish a bit of 'alone' time in the morning before my kids awake and the hustle and bustle of the day start to ensue on my thoughts and reflections. The wee morning hours are the ones that I can call 'my own', as the rest of the day is dedicated to 'us' and 'them' depending on the circumstances. I am interested in seeing what my reality will look like in the next week (when the presidential election will finally unfold for us who will be the leader of our country), the next month (as we experience holidays still distancing and different from what we h...

When I was a really young child I thought that everyone had experiences like me, had a childhood like mine, a family like mine and that the world was a familiar place. As I got older I realized how different everyone is, how everyone has different experiences and circumstances and that the world was vast and dangerous. I realized that not everyone thinks like me or acts like me (nor did they appreciate the way that I acted or reacted some of the time).  I was more and more a 'black sheep' the older I got.  Because of my awkwardness and shame of such, I started to live a life that was not reflective of who I was on the inside. I didn't like who I was or what my life/family circumstances were, so I acted more on false-confidence and a level pride that made up a world that I projected around me. I made sure that I was seen as confident, funny and the 'good kinda different'. In this process I would get lost in the persona that I was desperately trying to project into th...